I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
