Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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