i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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