Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
