i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize