i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
