i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
