yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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