Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
