Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
