is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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