Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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