Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
