nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
