I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
