just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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