I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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