Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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