some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
