loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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