I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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