no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
