if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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