That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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