At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
