ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
