Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
