I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize