May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
