what if every blade of grass was a penis?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
