so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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