I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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