Dual....:-)
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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