Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
