good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
