just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
