what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
