he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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