how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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