I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
