i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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