The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
