I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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