Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
