youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
