Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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