id be glad to
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
