lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
