I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
