My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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