We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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