I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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