thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
