And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
