shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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