"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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