Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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