yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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