He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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