So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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