I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
