He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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