all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize