Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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